Eating Kindness: A Journey with My Autistic Son

Have you ever gone out to eat with your family and thought, Wow, this is such a relaxing and enjoyable experience? Yeah, me neither. Let me explain. My son is autistic and non-verbal, which means that dining out can come with a unique set of challenges. Sometimes, his behavior might seem “odd” to those who aren’t used to it, and that’s okay—it’s life. But it does mean we often adjust our plans: carry-out is our go-to, or we eat in places where his behavior won’t disrupt others who might not be equipped to handle the situation. Flexibility is the name of the game.

Enter Fiesta TexMex in Waldorf, Maryland. We followed our usual protocol: sit, observe, gauge how things might go. And then, the unthinkable happened. A staff member approached us and asked—brace yourselves—if our son was comfortable and if he needed anything. My jaw almost hit the table. We explained that he’s autistic, and their response? “That’s okay; we have sensory toys. Would you like us to bring him some?” Wait, what? Sensory toys at a restaurant? For my son? I was ready to cry into my chips and salsa. They made us feel so comfortable, so welcome, that it didn’t feel real. Spoiler alert: it was.

That day, I discovered what it’s like to eat kindness. Imagine if more places operated with that mindset—not just focused on their own convenience but actively working to support others. Fiesta TexMex wasn’t a one-hit wonder either; we’ve gone back several times on different days, with different staff, and each visit has been just as wonderful. It’s clearly part of their work culture, and let me tell you, that’s a rare and beautiful thing.

Contrast this with what happened at Cracker Barrel in Waldorf. A group of kids with special needs visited as part of a program, and, well, let’s just say the experience wasn’t picture-perfect. News broke about the kids being denied the opportunity to dine in. Explanations flew: understaffed, miscommunication, yada yada. But the bottom line? The work culture in that location didn’t support inclusion. Here’s the kicker: they had no problem boxing up the kids’ food for carry-out and charging full price. That wasn’t overwhelming for them. But letting the kids sit down and eat? Too much to handle.

Later, Cracker Barrel’s corporate office investigated the incident and fired the manager and two employees. While that’s a step in the right direction, it raises a larger question: What kind of work culture allowed those actions to feel acceptable in the first place? Because, at that moment, no one thought to stop and say, “Hey, this isn’t okay.” And that’s the difference. 

So, what’s the lesson here? For me, it’s simple: instead of wasting energy on places that don’t align with our values, let’s focus on finding those that do. Parents, advocates, and allies, let’s build a network of restaurants and spaces where our kids are accepted and celebrated. These places exist—like Fiesta TexMex—and when we find them, let’s shout it from the rooftops (or, you know, share it on social media).

Our kids deserve to experience the world, even when it feels strange or unwelcoming. And when we can combine good food with kindness? That’s a recipe worth savoring.

#EatingKindness