Are You Hitting Home Runs or Just Playing Catch? Figuring Out True Love

How do you know you are in love? And how do you know you are loved back? These questions are as old as time, and the answers often seem as clear as a fastball down the middle. But then, how is it that we sometimes find ourselves in relationships where we’re merely strolling with interest, not love, and fail to realize it?

Once upon a time, the story goes, Love and Interest decided to run a marathon (yes, a marathon, not just a walk). At the finish line, Interest arrived without Love. Sounds simple. But in real life, the lines between love and interest can blur, and many of us find ourselves in relationships based more on interest than genuine affection. Why does this happen? It's easy, my friend. The examples we see often come from movies, books, and even people around us who sometimes recognize love through grand romantic gestures. We're shown scenes of chivalry (which, let’s be honest, few understand these days) and grand declarations leading to the altar. But what happens after the wedding? That tends to remain a mystery.

And therein lies the problem: people prepare for the wedding, not the marriage. They focus on the event, not the lifelong journey they embark on with another person. No, we do not start a relationship with a person thinking about marriage, living together, or any other equivalent for you, which would mean a lifelong commitment. We are often living in the moment and become snarled in it and in the fantasy we created around that person… until reality steps up to bat and puts our affections into perspective. Here’s a basic rule of thumb: if you feel you have to buy someone's affection, that’s not love. If someone is with you solely to improve their economic status, you might want to reconsider the relationship. Now, don’t get me wrong. Being with someone and having your economic situation improve as a result can be a wonderful byproduct of a healthy relationship, but it should never be the goal. If YOU want a certain kind of life, YOU need to work for it YOURSELF.

So, how do you know you're in love? Real love is more than just butterflies and grand gestures. It's in the small, everyday acts of kindness and support. It's in the quiet moments of understanding and the willingness to face life's challenges together. It's feeling at peace and at home with someone, even in silence. You can have a sense of peace, and it's not all about the drama. And how do you know you are loved back? When someone values you for who you are, not for what you can offer them. When they support your dreams and respect your boundaries. When they are willing to put in the effort, even when it's tough, and when their actions align with their words. Also, when their words are not used as a weapon or a manipulation tool, you feel that you need to do more to be worthy of that person’s affection. You are worthy, and if you have to prove it often, then you might not be with whom you are supposed to be.

So, the marathon of love is not about who finishes first but about who is willing to run the distance with you. So, next time, take a closer look at your partner and your relationship. Make sure you’re running alongside love, not just interest.

Let’s Make it Possible!